October, 2005

Queer Visions — No Comments
29
Oct 05

Sudoku (LESBIANGaY)

Sudoku_LG.gif

Here is my variant of . Instead of the numerals 1 through 9, use the letters found in the two words ‘lesbian‘ and ‘gay‘ but use ‘a‘ only once. Therefore, in each row, column and 3×3 grid, the solved puzzle will contain each of the following 9 letters: L E S B I A N G Y. Click on the puzzle for a printable version.

VIEW SOLUTION.

Commentary — 3 Comments
16
Oct 05

How Much is Too Much?

SCAMany in the gay community still equate sexual promiscuity with gay liberation in general. Irresponsible nonsense.

Within the gay community, sexual addiction (or sexual compulsivity) runs rampant. The reasons are obvious given the history of our ostracization by society. Nevertheless, we need to face it as the serious problem that it is.

Fortunately, in places like NYC, one the most active self-help groups within the gay community is Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA). I’d say it is the most popular group at the NYC Gay Center. Why? Because sexual addiction warps and distorts the addict, like any other addiction, in order to feed itself. Many gay men, when given the chance and all the information, realize they need help freeing themselves from obsessive internet porn, chat rooms, bookstores, serial one night stands, etc.

Are you sexually compulsive? See SCA’s The Twenty Questions Test or The Fourteen Characteristics.

Unfortunately, most gay communities are completely ignorant of the nature of sexual addiction and pass it off as only afflicting others. Too bad. Sexual addiction likely robs the addict of healthy views of sexuality and intimacy. Often sex addicts are unable to maintain long-term relationships.

Gay people are not from Mars and so we are vulnerable to the same excesses as all others on this planet. Sexual addiction is the vice of many who otherwise lead sober lives. Yet given the chemical reactions exploding in the brain during sex, it is merely swapping one drug for another.

Sex is healthy and should be enjoyed. Sex can be fun and freeing. But like anything else, it has negative consequences when taken to extremes. When sex is rendered a meaningless transaction only about pleasure, it pretty much becomes another form of recreational drug use. And there begins the possible descent into unbalanced addictive compulsive sexual behavior which can lead to dangerous and self-destructive places.

Gay People Are Not From Mars

Act UpHardwired.

We are not fundamentally gays who happen to be human. We are fundamentally humans who happen to be gay. Therefore, all impulses that predominantly manifest in humans no matter of what ancestry, ethnicity, dialect, race, nationality, religion or politics will also manifest in humans no matter of what sexuality.

The more freedoms we are given to participate in mainstream activities, institutions, rituals, etc. the more gay people will do so. The drive to participate and assimilate will in the long-run win out once we achieve equality and protection under the law for we are not fundamentally driven by an ideology, we are fundamentally driven by our humanity.

The Gay Lesbian Civil Rights Movement’s most important success will be that of creating an environment in which gay people feel free and welcome to express their basic core humanity without regard to their sexuality. The energy that out gay people now must expend in order to make their place openly and honestly is unfair and distracting.

TormentedMost gay people, no matter what their outward face, desire a life of community in which their sexuality is irrelevant but acknowledged. The ways in which our humanity expresses itself are indistinguishable from the ways in which all other peoples have expressed their humanity throughout all of time: creativity and relationship. Ultimately gay people are only as queer as our environment makes us. The current gay subculture is mostly a temporary reactionary formation that will subside once the mainstream more fully welcomes us as the full human beings we already know ourselves to be.

Some gay activists go too far in rejecting all things that were previously denied to us. That, I think, is throwing the baby out with the bath water. Wanting a family, children, a monogamous committed relationship, acceptance, respect, belonging, normalcy, etc. isn’t a sign that some sort of fascist heterosexism is at play but a sign that standard human impulses are at play and that they are inescapable and undeniable. Any attempts to paint them as artificial notions brainwashed into us is rather silly and confused.

Gay people are not from Mars.

(“I wonder if the monogamistic, parenting impulse is hard wired to our brain or something we learn from culture?” Justin R. asked in comment #99 to the article Gay America: The Next Generation on BlogCritics.org. The above article was my response.)

Commentary — 8 Comments
12
Oct 05

Gay Teens Confront Their Humanity

YouthSome gay teens – too overwhelmed by anti-gay ideologies manifesting within their families, churches, schools and communities – never confront the homophobia around and within them. They’ve been silenced.

I feared the numbers of these ’silenced’ would temporarily grow given the increased visibility of our movement since ‘gay marriage’ came forward as a national issue and the resulting increased vigor of those in opposition. John Cloud’s “The Battle Over Gay Teens” (full article here), if nothing else, lessened that fear.

Some gay teens today live openly in insular accepting environments which now include not just college but also high school. Not surprisingly, some don’t understand what’s at stake for them later on in life. They have, it seems, fallen victim to the illusion – brought about by the very recent emergence of openly gay celebrities – that being gay is ‘no big deal’.

Convincing these gay teens as they approach adulthood that it is important to talk about their lives without denying their innate homosexuality may at first prove difficult. But I suspect, as happened with me, they will eventually grow to appreciate what the gay activist leaders of the past have achieved and have not achieved for them.

For most out gay teens today, they will mature into a country (USA) that will, for the most part, bar them from marrying the one they love. Many may enter adulthood in states that categorize them as unfit to foster or adopt children. Many will be banned from clubs, churches and organizations and face job and housing discrimination with no legal recourse available to them.

Still, to be fair, I think for many if not most gay youth, figuring out how to BE in a heterosexual world is confusing and frustrating enough. But then they are confronted with the extra burden of understanding the forces seeking to not just deny them equality under the law but also to equate them, as a whole, with rapists, alcoholics and the mentally ill.

I’m surprised, given all that, how many gay people do ‘come out’ okay and relatively undamaged. I’m not surprised at the anger and passion out there. That anger and indignation is what has galvanized our movement. I’m confident most gay youth will come to appreciate this anger expressed by many activists as not a militant anger but a valid sensible one given all that has been said by leaders such as Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson and the Pope.

Afterall, we fight for the full humanity of people who are gay. The Fundamentalists and all those anti-gay forces they’ve rallied around them fight for a hypocritical immoral ideology based on lies and hate. As I’ve said before, ideologies come and go, but we gay people are here forever and now that we’ve emerged from the closet of medieval superstitious ignorance about sexuality, there’s no going back.

With that in mind, there is too much at stake for any gay person, young or old, to believe we have reached any sort of post Gay Lesbian Civil Rights Movement identity. Gay teens who believe their place at the table of society has been permanently set are in for quite a shock when they try to sit down at that table later in life. Therefore, we still very much need new generations of outspoken Gay and Lesbian leaders to speak with force, courage and steadfastness on behalf of those without a voice, still too afraid to speak.

(This article was written as a comment (#86) to the post Gay America: The Next Generation on BlogCritics.org.)

Commentary — 7 Comments
10
Oct 05

Jonathan I. Katz: In Defense of Thought Turds

Jonathan Katz Washington University Physics Professor Jonathan I. Katz posted an article through his school’s website entitled “In Defense of Homophobia” (hat tip Good As You). In it he calls gay people basically diseased, immoral and repulsive. You can read the rest if you choose but I wouldn’t bother if you prefer avoiding ‘thought turds’ (hat tip for the term from Joe Perez at Gay Spirituality and Culture). If you wish to congratulate Professor Katz on his compassion and wisdom, he can be reached at katz@wuphys.wustl.edu by email. Here follows my emailed response:

Dear Professor Katz,

Your arguments are reasonable and should be more widely considered if only the following were not true:

1. Homosexuality, just like heterosexuality, is innate. One, therefore, cannot unlearn it. A heterosexual or homosexual choosing celibacy nevertheless remains a heterosexual and homosexual respectively. The ex-gay movement and those who profess to have changed are no different than past examples of the jew or light-skinned black person masquerading as christian or white to avoid bias, marginalization and/or even violence within oppressive villages, states or countries.

2. The potential for a homosexual person to equal a heterosexual in all areas of life other than reproduction is easily observed in the world around us. Homosexuals who are not suppressed by unusual negative forces (from family, church, school, communities and government) often live prosperous, monogamous, generous, dignified, contributing, law-abiding, creative, nurturing, meaningful, exemplary lives.

3. The dysfunction and immaturity of the homosexual community has deep roots in the long history of the relentless scapegoating tendencies of religious and governmental institutions. One can find numerous examples of majorities denigrating powerless small minority communities during times of great societal change. Our time would be no different and homosexual people would continue to be sacrificed on the altar of ignorance, fear and xenophobia were it not for the scientific and sexual revolutions and today’s information age. We have learned from science and reason that we are, in fact, full human beings just as we are in need of no reform or therapy other than the exorcism of the internalized homophobia instilled into us by a misinformed society.

Homosexuals have only recently begun the work of establishing a place for ourselves in which we can live free from the stunting influence of rigid ideologies which have taught us to hate our very nature. Addictions, whether sexual or drug related, are a challenge in our community not because we are disordered or flawed human beings but because we have too long been treated that way by those we love, respect and follow during our formative years of youth.

I hope you will rethink your beliefs on this matter, for homophobia causes much suffering to Gays and Lesbians, especially in youth. Just as with the widespread deep conviction, not too long ago, that argued slavery as natural or tomatoes as poisonous or the left-handed as wicked, the belief that homosexuals are fundamentally the same as rapists and alcoholics ought to be abandoned.

It takes courage to stand up against orthodoxy. Too many cowards lead our country these days and use their power irresponsibly for selfish ends. You have a responsiblity to your students, for by promoting homophobia as okay and acceptable you make it easier for them to do violence against others they perceive to be gay, you make it easier for schools to expel their students when their parents are discovered to be gay, you make it easier for murderers to get away with the ‘gay panic’ defense, you make it easier for gay youth to believe their lives are worthless.

There are so many wonderful people around you right now that are likely gay. If you remain unchanged in your outlook, what would you have done with them? If you still believe homosexuals to be immoral people, I would be interested in knowing how complicit you would be in opposing homosexuals and their struggle for acceptance, understanding, compassion and equality.

Would you allow a mob to evict homosexual couples from your neighborhood? Would you stand by silently if ‘out’ teenagers were sent to special camps where they could undergo reeducation? Would you gladly accept legislation barring homosexuals from government jobs including teaching positions? Would you happily point out your homosexual family members and coworkers if legislation passed demanding that all homosexuals wear a pink triangle?

Finally, history shows that once societies step onto the path of scapegoating and dehumanizing a group of people, that path leads only to more and more repulsive places. So I ask, one last time, if you remain
unchanged in your views even after my letter, to what places would you follow the path of homophobia upon which you so willingly, rationally and openly walk?

With earnest sincerity,

Patrick

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