Youth, Messiness

Youth is a time when life will be chaotic, unstable, changing and insecure. This time of flux is as it should be. Whereas childhood and adolescents is a time of physically maturing and learning the basic skills of survival, young adulthood (your twenties) is a time of emotionally maturing by learning about what it means to be you and what YOU want to be.

This is spiritual growth, and it takes place as you experience the ups and downs of living independently and parenting yourself. This is noble and good and right. Please don’t feel you should be somewhere else in life or that you’re making mistakes others don’t make or that you’re doing something fundamentally wrong, because you’re absolutely where you should be - in the midst of creating your own unique life. You’re absolutely making all the right mistakes - the ones necessary to learn not only what you don’t know but also the ones necessary to learn what you WANT to know. You’re absolutely living life fundamentally right: imperfectly.

You see, no one is perfect. If you look close enough, you can always find the imperfection. (Those who constantly focus on the imperfections of life instead of the whole beauty are called cynics and skeptics.) This isn’t a cynical, skeptical, pessimistic, or negative view of life. It’s a healthy acceptance of the way things really are - richly diverse and abundant with infinite possibilities. (Those who constantly focus on the diversity and possibilities of life instead of the imperfections are called visionaries and sages.) Not only does this perspective bring us closer to reality and thus more empowered personally, but it also allows us to see people more clearly.

You may ask, “Is this person in my life a cynic or is he a visionary? Is this person an optimist or a pessimist? What kind of person do I admire and want to emulate in my life?” These are important questions to be able to answer in order to lead a well-balanced life.

This life-perspective (religions are institutionalized dogmatic ones) basically states: FOR EVERY THING OR EVENT THAT “GOES WRONG”, THERE ARE A MILLION THINGS OR EVENTS THAT “GO RIGHT”. It allows us to see the imbalance in those who see the world in the opposite light, which goes something like this: for every thing or event that “goes right”, there are a million things or events that “go wrong”. These “doomsday” people are neurotic and obsessed with perfection at any cost. They constantly struggle for complete control of not only their own lives, but of the lives around them and, again, at any cost.

People who get caught in this trap soon grow ugly in one way or another. I’m sure you’ve met quite a few in your life already. Don’t let them suck you into their way of thinking and believe me, that’s just what they’ll try to do. Your very nature threatens and challenges them and so at any sign of vulnerability on your part, they will try to make you one of them at any cost. Don’t believe their lies.

Who do I mean exactly? You’ll know them when you meet them. Enough said.

It’s okay to worry and stress a little about this time of transition and change, that’s natural, healthy and to be expected. The only thing that would be unnatural and unhealthy would be to hide, withdraw and retreat from this messy thing called life. We are all dealing with this wonderful mess in our own unique, creative way. Just go with it. Don’t fight it. It’s okay.

Finally, above all, don’t doubt your right to live in your own style. You can doubt choices and will, but once you’ve made a choice, commit to it unapologetically. Then, if you find you’ve made a mistake, all you have to do is make a different choice. But know you absolutely have the right to make these mistakes and to make them with confidence.

{I have entered my second semester teaching high school music. I really love it. Today I began my search to adopt a dog.}