Better Yard Signs for Preachiness and Propaganda

Whenever I see 'The 10 Commandments' (Exodus Chapter 20) yard signs I can't help but role my eyes and shake my head. Don't you find them ridiculously preachy? I do. I think they're literally outward displays of inner spiritual arrogance.

(By the way, Exodus Chapter 21 could be called 'The 35 Commandments of Slaveholding'. Check it out. Anyone out there in the blogosphere ever heard a sermon in a mainstream church based on that bit of 'infallible' text? Doubt it.)

I see how popular these yard signs have become and wonder at people's motivation for posting them. Perhaps they're a part of a vast Christian Fundamentalist propaganda mobilization effort. But I'm being a little silly there. Or am I?

I attribute their poplularity with the bizarre End Times delusion held by many Evangelical Christians who've been reading those Tim LeHaye 'Left Behind' books. Don't know much about the 'Left Behind' series? Read Michelle Goldberg's article Fundamentally Unsound, Nicholas Kristof's Jesus and Jihad or Apocalypse (Almost) Now, or Craig Under's American 'Rapture'. Frightening insane stuff. Basically, if you're not a fetus or an Evangelical Christian, you won't be going with them to Heaven (you know, that place that motivates jihadists to blow themselves up) but rather ..... drum roll please .... you'll be left behind to suffer horribly on Earth and in Hell (you know, that place used to scare children into nonsensical supernatural beliefs).

So, you see, I think these yard signs are placed as a somewhat subtle reminder to all motorists passing by that if they haven't yet been saved (and part of being saved is believing in the infallability of the Bible) they risk being left behind. Also, and I think this is just as motivating, it's a wink to other Christian Fundamentalist neighbors signaling: "Hey, we'll see you there!" ('there' being Heaven of course).

Beyond all the wishful magical thinking afterlife crap and for those wishing a little sensible ethical guidance, here follow some alternative yard sign suggestions:

The Real 10 Commandments (Solon the Athenian, 594 B.C.E.)

• Trust good character more than promises.
• Do not speak falsely.
• Do good things.
• Do not be hasty in making friends, but do not abandon them once made.
• Learn to obey before you command.
• When giving advice, do not recommend what is most pleasing, but what is most useful.
• Make reason your supreme commander.
• Do not associate with people who do bad things.
• Honor the gods.
• Have regard for your parents.

The Paradoxical Commandments (Dr. Kent M. Keith)

• People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
• If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
• If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
• The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
• Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
• The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
• People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
• What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
• People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
• Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

The Ethical Atheist's Commandments

• Thou shalt not believe all thou art told.
• Thou shalt seek knowledge and truth constantly.
• Thou shalt educate thy fellow man in the Laws of Science.
• Thou shalt not forget the atrocities committed in the name of god.
• Thou shalt leave valuable contributions for future generations.
• Thou shalt live in peace with thy fellow man.
• Thou shalt live this one life thou hast to its fullest.
• Thou shalt follow a Personal Code of Ethics.
• Thou shalt maintain a strict separation between Church and State.
• Thou shalt support those who follow these commandments.

The Nine Commandments (Mark Isaak)

• Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
• Recognize and respect differences of taste, custom, and belief that don't affect you directly.
• Don't blame others before you have seen to your own faults. The most effective form of moral teaching is personal example.
• Know thyself.
• Seek good companions.
• Find a faith that is stronger than fear and allows comfort with uncertainty. Be actively grateful and enjoy life.
• Get real. Don't misrepresent reality to yourself or others.
• Strive regularly to improve your morals with study and active practice. Don't pretend this is easy, but remember that doing so will generally benefit you even more than those around you.
• Recognize that no set of rules, including these, can be universal and infallible. Be guided not by these literal words, but by the spirit behind them.

The Eightfold Path (Siddhartha Gautama)

• Right View
• Right Intention
• Right Speech
• Right Action
• Right Livelihood
• Right Effort
• Right Mindfulness
• Right Concentration

The Seven Suggestions (QVF)

• Be Honest
• Be Fair
• Be Responsible
• Be Educated
• Be Polite
• Be Rational
• Be Healthy